Saturday, May 15, 2010

My ego problem

This past week I kind of beat myself up after what I considered a disappointing workout session at the gym. My previous post illustrates how I set the bar way too high, and when I fell short how I punished myself for not accomplishing such an unrealistic goal. The next day I was surfing through several running website, and when I came to, there was an inspiring article about "How to Develop a Healthy Mental Attitude When You Run", written by Danny Dreyer. It was a very inspiring article, and talked about how when you run you need to drop your ego. You ego, according to Dreyer, "can either inflate you or deflate your sense of self....When your ego is deflated,you give up too easily." That right there is exactly what I DO NOT want to do with my running.

Dreyer then goes on to discuss non-identification and using it when running.

"Non-identification is the art of making healthy decisions and of seeing yourself from a balanced place without judging yourself. If you are defining your self-worth by how well a run goes---either negatively or with an inflated sense of pride--then you are identifying with how you run. When you are non-identified, you evaluate your run, but not your self worth. You notice what you did well, what you need to improve upon and enjoy the process of learning and improving your running technique."

Those last two sentences really struck a chord with me. I realized that I WAS basing my runs on who well or poorly I did on that particular run. What I need to focus on is what Dreyer said, and pick apart the run like one would evaluate a military exercise--this is right, this is wrong, this is how I can change what went wrong. So when I leave the gym this week, it will not be saying, "Man, I can't even run five miles." Instead I will be saying, "What can I change in my run to accomplish that goal of running five miles?"

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